Saturday, October 16, 2010

Junk Mail

Do you ever go through your junk mail. I do occasionally and I get a lot of emails like this one:

Dearest one,

Permit me to inform you of my desire to go into business relationship with you , after going
through your profile and I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to the nature of my proposal,which requires a reputable and trustworthy person. Someone who will be kind and sincere to me.

l am Miss Jessica Anoh the only daughter of late Mr and Mrs Basil Anoh My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan here, the economic capital of Ivory Coast, he was poisoned to death by his only brother (My Uncle) and his business associates on one of their business meeting. My mother died on the 20th october 1995 and my father took me so special because l am motherless. Before the death of my father on 29th november 2008 in a private hospital here in Abidjan,he secretly called me on his bedside, when I sat down to listen to him, he started crying,when I aksed him why?
(1) He complained that I am too young to be managing my life with no one to take care of me.
(2) That I have not finished my university education as he planned for me, he revealed to me that he has a sum of $5.5Million USD (FIVE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) left in a security company here in Abidjan, that he used my name as the only daughter for his next of kin in deposit of the funds.



She goes on to say (at great length) that her Uncle is the one who poisoned her father and that he is out to kill her as well to get the money. She says that she needs a foreign business partner to be her guardian in the US to help her with all her money. And that if I do this I will get 15% of her money. I always think these are really funny. And I've always wanted to send an email back and make it really intense, like a CIA operation or something. Really sketchy and stealthy like. You know something like:

Dearest Jessica,

I accept your offer. It is too dangerous to converse over email. I'm sending you a letter with a code in it. Break the code, and you'll have all the answers you need. If you have any questions, you can find me where the crow flies. Watch your back.

-X

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