The Teddy Bear Thesis

So I made a bad decision. It was snowing outside and I was feeling very much in a warm and cozy mood, so I decided to have some hot chocolate. That was a terrible decision for me. Especially since I have a hard time falling asleep on a normal night. So even though I'm exhausted, I'm still laying here awake. And I guess it's not that late... but it's late enough that I want to be asleep.

Anyways, I was thinking about this weird thing that I do. I call it my Teddy Bear Thesis. And I'll have to make a little bit of an embarrassing confession in order to explain. So here it goes: I still sleep with a teddy bear. But not in a childish my bear is my best friend kind of way. It's more of a need to hold something in my arms close to me while I sleep (if I'm not home I still end up using the sheets or a pillow for the same purpose). I noticed in high school though, that when I have a boyfriend I don't need my bear. And not just when the boyfriend is physically there. I don't ever use the bear at all if I have a boyfriend. Which is kinda weird. So I've decided that I think it comes from a need to feel close to someone, to have a person to embrace you and keep you safe. When I have a boyfriend, I feel safe, secure and happy. And don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly happy with the way my life is right now. I think it's a deeper thing that I can't really explain.

Like I said, I was just thinking about it. So I thought I'd share this embarrassing little tidbit of information with all of you. So don't judge me :p