Saturday, March 5, 2011
I hate crushes. They're stupid. And they never work well for me, because I always get too attached. And I promised myself that I would not have anymore crushes. I was doing SO WELL for like, 6 months! And yet, here I am in this position again. Over thinking everything, asking everyone their opinions, facebooking, plotting, and most importantly: GETTING MY HOPES UP FOR NO GODDAMN REASON. And I'm not being pessimistic. It's just true. He hasn't shown ANY signs of being interested. But I must be kind of masochistic, because I'm thinking about asking him out anyways on that small, itsy, bitsy chance that maybe he'll decide to give ME a chance. Which is pretty much just setting myself up for failure and undoing all the good my self-esteem has been up to in the past 6 months. Why? Why do I let this happen? I swear though, I think the only way a relationship is ever going to work out for me is if he decides to pursue me. They have to surprise attack me. Otherwise I scare all the men away with my... Andieness? I don't know. That's what I should call it though. My Andieness. Grrrr.